My Bipolar Journey

After spending 4 months in the psychiatric ward of the Valleyfield hospital, I was released and was able to rent a room at the home of a friend. After a lengthy manic episode in the summer and fall of 2023, I crashed due to the fact that if you are in a manic phase for a lengthy period of time, you will ultimately crash. And that crash is depression and it can last for lengthy periods of time. So when I was released, I knew that I was in a depression. It’s a scary feeling because you do not know if you will be able to pull out. As a matter of fact, one depression lasted for 3 years. My manic episode basically ruined my life. I lost family, friends, my dream job on the radio and I had just sold my condo, so I was essentially homeless. I never, in a million years, thought that my life would fall apart at the age of 65. When you are 65, that is the time when you should be relaxing and enjoying the fruits of your labor.

Lets get back to the concept of giving up. It is ok to give up on the things that no longer serve you, such as toxic situations, unrealistic goals, or paths that make you truly unhappy. This can be a strategic, healthy decision for your well being. Giving up is not always failure, it can be a way of reclaiming your power, re-evaluating your priorities, and freeing up resources for better opportunities. One of the times that I gave up recently was after three attempts at creating opportunities that would give me something to do of value. The first attempt was with a radio station as Director of Sales, but that failed because the owner would only pay commission. The second was an attempt to create a mental health support group. Despite my best efforts, it never got off the ground. And the third was creating a sales and marketing consultancy. Unfortunately that failed and the guy who wrote a book on sales couldn’t close any deals.

So I gave up. And when you give up, the anxiety disappears and so do the expectations. And magically, within a few weeks, several opportunities presented themselves. First, two new on air radio hosting became a possibility again, one is confirmed at CJMQ in Sherbrooke on Sundays from 7pm-9pm, and one is to be discussed. Second, I will be using my marketing knowledge to help WIAIH ( West Island Association for the Intellectually Handicapped). And third, my new blog which gives me an opportunity to share my story which is both cathartic and hopefully will help others. I was lucky that my family and friends didn’t abandon me. And I was also lucky to have a tremendous group of health care workers from psychiatrists to psychologists to social workers, and nurses. My life is not perfect, but it’s a lot better than it was a couple of years ago.